The smallest of the goblinoid races, snotlings are usually
seen as the crummy slaves of large orc and goblin tribes. Here their presence
is occasionally required to pilot one of their destructive wagons into battle
or to soak up enemy fire at the front line, but most of the time the snots
spend their lives doing all the miserable things that nobody else wants to do,
and usually end up being eaten for their troubles. Pretty much everything eats
snotlings. But all that the greenskins and the other, larger races of the
warhammer world know of these runty creatures is but a facet of the snotling
race; for deep below even the deepest dwellings of goblins, dwarves and skaven
there are countless tribes of snotlings avoiding the gaze of their predators.
Whether snotlings may be truly classed as animal or not is a
matter of opinion, since each and every snotling was once an inanimate scabspore
mushroom. This peculiar strain of fungus, once it reaches maturity, develops a
kind of cognisance, begins to sprout facial features and limbs before finally
detaching itself from whatever it grew upon, shedding its mushroom cap and
becoming a snotling. Because of their trans-classificational origins, snotlings
are inherently at one with the natural world. Save for snots who are pressed
into service by other races, snotlings are peaceable and only usually go to war
to protect their clan or to avert some natural disaster which their special
relationship with the earth has warned them of. It could be that if snotlings
were able to develop to their full ability they would go a long way to righting
the injustices of the world. Sadly their status as little more than food for
most creatures and their delight in hazardous pursuits of all kinds means they
are seldom able to live long enough to become an influence. There is nothing
snotlings love more than the rush of adrenaline participating in extreme sports
such as cliff diving, barrel rolling and white water wagonning. Snots have a
special relationship with trolls, who are usually of the opinion that pretty
much everything is food. Maybe because snots are viewed as food by pretty much
everything else the trolls have a soft spot for the little green fungus people
and are often enlisted to help defend snotling colonies. In exchange for this
they get to eat any potential threats to the tribe which include, well, pretty
much everything really!
Because of their nutritious diet and clean living, snots can
live for centuries and grow to the size of a large goblin, but because of their
high number of predators and penchant for risky activities only a few ever get
the chance to enjoy their longevity. Since they grow from mushrooms, snotlings
are genderless, however they refer to the few snots who manage to live long
lives, grow to great size and so become the leaders of the snotling clans as ‘big
momma snots’. Maybe this is because these snotlings are wise, mature, maternal
and always act with the best wishes of the snotling clan at heart.
Alternatively it could be because their long lives suggest they never really understood
the appeal of the kind of dangerous tomfoolery which occupies most snotlings
most of the time. Alongside the big mommas, the snotling clans are overseen by
the tribal chieflings. These snotlings have distinguished themselves by their
daring (some might say stupid) exploits and have won the respect of the
tribesnots. They get less respect from the big mommas who have to pull them
back in line whenever their actions begin to endanger the wellbeing of the clan,
usually by sitting on them.
The origins of magic lie in the incursions of chaos into the
warhammer world and as creatures of nature the snotlings are terrified of its
unnatural nature. They do, however, know
a thing or two about plants and the most adept snotlings can create truly
startling (and sometimes quite useful) effects by blending and consuming
potions. These are the shaman of the snotling tribes, strange individuals
usually given a wide birth by all ut the most inquisitive of tribesnots. Their
powers of deduction, clairvoyance and healing are made occasional use of in
times of great need, but the unfortunate likelihood of such benefits being
accompanied by the spontaneous combustion or mutation of the shaman or subject
usually means the need has to be very great before they are consulted. They are
just about trusted on matters of weather and good times to harvest fungus,
which are usually accompanied by nothing more than a few bruises. Long-serving
shaman (very lucky shaman) tend to acquire strange deformities such as abnormal
growth, extra limbs or weird distortions of the body. These become badges of
honour for the shaman. Younger shaman who have yet to acquire such distinctive
traits (or blow themselves up) usually cover themselves up in long robes and
hoods to try to gain an air of mystery, who knows what hideous form lies
beneath? A popular game among tribesnots is to step on their robes at opportune
moments and send them headlong into muddy puddles. Snotlings are generally
pretty comfortable with their bodily appearance and wear very few clothes
except for a simple loincloth. Since they have no reproductive organs quite why
they feel the need to cover these areas of their body remains unclear. A few
ambitious snots might fashion themselves clothing from vegetation, the hides of
dead animals (usually rats, anything bigger is hard for a snotling to bring
down) or anything else they find lying around. Some even make suits of armour
for themselves from assorted kitchen equipment or loot items from Halfling settlements
(about the only race snots aren’t too badly matched against). These are usually
worn as badges of honour or to increase their chance of surviving some
hazardous new game rather than for warfare. Snotlings have ingenious minds
(dangerously so) for creating contraptions from odd bitz and pieces they find
lying around. Successful creations, particularly those which can be employed
for the mass hilarity of the whole clan, are highly praised and their inventors
given pride of place at the banqueting table. This usually encourages them on
to even more daring feats and more often than not results in the demise of the
hapless engineer. Those inventors whose creations fall short of the mark
usually don’t survive the test run to learn from their mistakes.
In all the warhammer world there are few creatures as
persecuted, threatened and downtrodden as the diminutive fungus-born snotlings,
yet there are also few who are as playful, happy and good-willed as these
green-skinned runts. Their tribes are havens of jollity in an unhappy world,
governed by benign matriarchs and united in the quest for fun and a worry-free,
if short-lived, existence.
